Anymore, I’m selective with the meet-ups and events I attend locally.  I have to be.  However, things out of my own backyard are a different story since I don’t know most of the folks there.

I do enjoy going the local events, but time is a scarce resource and I’m forced to limit myself to 5-7 face-to-face meetings per week.  My networking plan, at a relatively high level, looks something like this:

• Attend larger events to meet new people
• Use social networks to scout people before those events and stay in touch afterward
• As much as time and location permits, meet as many of these folks as possible in a one-to-one setting

Why does one-to-one matter?  Honestly, the answer to this question could be an entirely separate blog post.  But let me sum it up in a few brief bullets:

• Real trust is built with one-to-one human connections and undivided attention
• Some studies suggest that up to 93% of what we communicate happens via non-verbal queues (which also happens frequently in one-to-one conversations)
• One-to-one meetings help to lay the foundation of context for deeper relationships

We, as humans, tend to get closer to one another when we meet in one-to-one settings.  With that said, here’s a list of some of the things I’ve learned over the years that have helped me to grow my network:

• 1.  Use Tungle or Google Calendar to make appointment scheduling easier and more efficient
• 2.  Try to be on time.  You’re not always going to succeed.  Life happens.  But try as hard as you can.
• 3.  If the other person is late, be gracious.  You never know if they or their loved one has been in a traffic accident.
• 4.  Make sure you have a way to get a hold of your meeting contact.  Make sure that way is something they check frequently.
• 5.  If you’re not on time, call, tweet, text or something.  Let the other person know you will be late and provide an ETA.
• 6.  Do your homework.  Google their name.  What did you find?
• 7.  Use LinkedIn, blogs, Twitter and maybe even Facebook to learn the basics before you meet.  Then you can spend time on the important stuff.
• 8.  Have some questions ready, top-of-mind.  Make sure they are earnest questions to which you really want to know the answers.  People can smell leading questions a mile away.
• 9.  Make small talk, but without going too deep into the personal stuff.  Personal information requires a deeper level of comfort.  It may take some time to get there.  Trust your instincts.
• 10.  To establish trust, open yourself up.  Share something personal about you that might be of interest.  It’s okay to be a little vulnerable.  Trust starts in good faith.
• 11.  Always, always, always hold disclosed personal and professional information in confidence.  Betraying trust will hurt your relationship.  That’s a no-brainer.
• 12.  Look to find common ground right at the start of the meeting.  In what ways can you relate with the person across the table?
• 13.  If you can’t meet in person, use Skype or DimDim or even ooVoo to share a visual connection
• 14.  If you are  meeting in-person, offer to buy coffee first.  Make it a gift.
• 15.  If someone offers to buy your coffee, graciously accept their gift with a “Thank you”
• 16.  When someone says “Thank you” to you, don’t respond with “It’s no problem.”  Rather, reply “It’s my pleasure.”  Notice the difference?
• 17.  Have the ability to take notes.  Napkins, hands, notebooks and even mobile devices work.  You can even use a voice recorder if you can’t read your own hurried chicken-scratch.
• 18.  However, don’t take too many notes.  Engage in the conversation.  Most of the time, there won’t be a test.  Practice active listening.
• 19.  Practice good nonverbal communication.  Make eye contact often.  Nod.  Smile.  Look surprised.  Emote.  Show your attention visibly.
• 20.  Wait for their periods.  Let the other person finish their complete thought.  Pause to consider for a second, then respond.
• 21.  Don’t be afraid to laugh.  Sharing laughter creates a different level of connection.
• 22.  Admit your mistakes, faults, and shortcomings openly, but don’t dwell on them or discredit yourself.  Honesty and self-degradation yield two completely different outcomes.
• 23.  Cheer them on by acknowledging their victories.  Show your support for the efforts they are making in their career or at home, and ask how you might be helpful.
• 24.  Be the first to ask questions.  Don’t lead with: “So thanks for getting together.  Here’s my agenda for today…”
• 25.  If you’re not the first to ask a question, keep your response detailed, but respectfully brief.  Time is fleeting.
• 26.  Respect the other person’s time.  Keep a watch or cell phone handy and check it now and again.  You can also ask: “I know you’re busy.  How are we on time?”
• 27.  Respect and be aware of your own time constraints.  If you have to leave at a certain time, give ample warning.
• 28.  Put your cell phone on vibrate or turn it off.  Lay it on the table and flip it over, screen facing down.  This makes a visual statement that you are focused on the conversation at hand.
• 29.  Review the takeaways and action items from your talk.  Are there people to whom you wanted to introduce them?  Did you mention you’d like to send them some piece of information?  Go over that stuff one last time.
• 30.  Be the one to throw away any trash on the table.  Serving others is a form of respect.
• 31.  Hold doors for the other person, and for others behind them.  This is another way to show humans respect.
• 32.  Practice good verbal manners and etiquette.  Please and thank you go a long way.
• 33.  Shake hands firmly, with men and women. No one likes the wet noodle handshake.
• 34.  Follow through on the promises you make.  Follow-up actions are way better than follow-up emails.
• 35.  Always end the meeting by thanking them for their time.  Genuinely mean it.  Time is valuable to all of us.

I’ve stopped at 35.  There’s much MUCH more that can be added to this list.

What would you add?

nateriggs

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